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Domestic Violence: Warning Signs

Posted by James Cummings | Apr 12, 2016 | 0 Comments

When most people hear the words “domestic violence” they imagine the terrifying incidents they see on television. While these events do occur all too frequently, domestic violence and abuse aren't limited to the realm of the physical. As patterns of coercive and controlling behavior, domestic abuse can also include emotional and psychological abuse, sexual abuse, and even financial abuse; in any of these cases, the victims are left feeling confused, frightened, and possibly uncertain about their own ability to survive. If children are also involved, they too must endure all of the traumatizing effects and all of the same fears. Domestic violence is also not limited to people of certain circumstances, it can affect individuals of any age, race, ethnicity, gender, economic status, education, religion, or sexual orientation.

There are many ways in which someone can experience domestic violence. But domestic abuse and violence rarely occur without forewarning. If you have experienced any of the following warning signs in your relationship and desire to end the relationship, it may be time to contact a divorce attorney.


Remember, domestic violence isn't just about being physically assaulted. It can also include other controlling or coercive patterns such as:

  • Becoming irrationally angry, refusing to reach any kind of compromise, and blaming you for any and all of his/her mistakes
  • Acting excessively jealous about your other relationships; prevents you from spending time with your friends or family
  • Following/stalking you, showing up at your place of work or home without being invited
  • Controlling your use of communication devices such as a telephone or computer
  • Embarrassing or humiliating you in front of family and friends
  • Withholding money or preventing access to finances
  • Not allowing you to work
  • Refusing to work or contribute to family income
  • Controlling how all money is allocated/spent
  • Filing false insurance claims/fraudulent tax returns
  • Acting violently towards you, using such actions as hitting, pushing, or slapping
  • Coercing you to engage in sexual acts against your will
  • Threatening you, your family, friends, or even pets with violence


Among the warning signs listed above, there are other behaviors that can be present in an abusive relationship. These often lead to greater risk of increased violence, and events could possibly become fatal. Some of these behaviors include, but are not limited to:

  • Using a weapon to threaten you
  • Using a weapon against you, a loved one, a friend, or even a pet
  • Escalated physical abuse such as battering or choking
  • Threatening to kill you, friends, family, or pets

In a 2015 national survey, the National Network to End Domestic Violence (NNEDV) discovered that U.S. domestic violence programs provided aid for nearly 71,828 victims and answered more than 21,332 crisis hotline calls in a single 24-hour period. In the state of Connecticut, nearly 1,009 victims received aid and 229 called a crisis hotline in a 24-hour period. While we wish that those numbers were smaller, there is a silver lining to be found; each of those numbers represents a person who was able to receive help in one form or another. Also, it means that if you are a victim of domestic violence, you don't have to feel alone and you certainly don't have to continue to suffer alone. Help is not far away.

Whatever situation you find yourself in, whether you are seeking a divorce attorney for financial, personal, emotional, or for safety reasons, contact Cummings Law Firm; we are ready to help you today.

About the Author

James Cummings

James lives in Southbury with his wife, Lynn, and their children, James, and Chloe. He enjoys skiing and fishing in his spare time, and is actively involved in local civil affairs in his hometown of Southbury and the greater Waterbury area.


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