Child custody matters are difficult for parents because you may feel that your ideas are correct. Your ex probably thinks that he knows best, too. When neither of the parents are willing to put their differences aside and work things out, the children are the ones who can suffer greatly.
Fortunately, even if you and your ex can't stand to speak to each other, there are ways that you can try to work out the contentious differences. Mediation is a common way to do this because you and your ex can still make the decisions but you have the help of a third-party mediator.
Putting the mediator to good use
The mediator isn't there to run the show. However, this professional can help you to keep things on track during the discussions. This might help to avoid instances where you and your ex fight about what is important.
You can also use the mediator as a messenger. This person can discuss things with you and your ex individually so that you aren't having to deal directly with each other. You might find that this cuts down on the trouble that is present in the negotiations.
Take the time you need to prepare
You need to be prepared when you go into the first session. Think carefully about the issues that need to be addressed during the mediation session. Write the list out and jot down your suggested solution and the reason you think this is the best solution. These notes might help you when the time comes to discuss them with your ex. You won't be left with memory problems that are caused by the stress of the situation.
When you are preparing, make sure that you are also making notes about what points you will be willing to compromise on. This is important to think about now so that you have time to put the issues in order. The chance that you will get your way in every matter isn't great so deciding which issues are the most important so you can stick to your guns there might help.
Mediation during a divorce can help you to get the divorce over with sooner. Often, this is a less expensive way to get the matters resolved. You have to be willing to give the process a fair chance. If it doesn't work, you can always head to a family law trial in front of a judge to get the matters resolved.